i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
