turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
