we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Couch. On fire.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
