New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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