I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Your cock deserves a montage
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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