If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
