I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
