i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
