We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
