Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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