they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
