how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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