Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
