the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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