Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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