her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
