Already got asked if we're dating
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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