garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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