If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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