Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
