I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
