I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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