Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
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