Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
