Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
