My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
