im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
