Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
