He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
