So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
