Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
