6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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