Where is the hickey?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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