Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
