I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
