I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
