They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
