Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
