You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
