I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
True college students do jello shots in the library
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
