she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize