Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
