she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
