yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
