At least make sure they are 18
Why
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
