It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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