We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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