it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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