Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
