i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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