Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
