I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
